Help Wanted

 I had to do one of the hardest things in my life late Sunday night.  I had to take my S18AN into the ER and Baker Act him.  If you are unfamiliar with that term, it means to put someone under a 72 hour psychiatric hold.  72 hours at the very least.  I thought we were doing well.  I thought he was eating enough, I watched him eat.  Sunday night, around 11:45pm, he came in and woke me up, to show me he had been cutting again.  He hasn't in quite a while, he has been happy, working, FaceTiming his girlfriend, and eating pizza and burritos.  

This time he had not only cut on his upper bicep, but had cut down closer to his wrist.  Deep cuts.  Deep enough I felt that they needed some attention.  Going into the ER, with self-harm, immediately means they will Baker Act the patient.  I asked him why, and he told me he wasn't getting any better.  He hadn't eaten anything on Sunday.  He weighs 121 pounds.  This was a cry for help.  This was my son desperate for someone to see him, and finally help him.  

We spent the night in a bed in the ER, the staff was kind, but we saw very little of them.  The ER we went to, doesn't have a psychiatric floor.  Maybe that was the reason, but no one came in to bandage his arm.  I watched his blood pressure every time it was automatically taken, he was hypotensive, meaning he had low blood pressure.  I watched his heart rate drop low enough to set off the alarm on the monitor, no one came to do anything about it.  Not sure if there was anything that could be done though.  

The next morning, we were told he would be taken by ambulance at 9:30 to a treatment facility up in Stuart, Florida.  And that I couldn't go with him.  The hospital staff promised someone would call me and update me on what was going on.  So I ran home, so I could bring him contact lens solution, his case, his glasses. I brought him some clothes to change into and then kissed and hugged him goodbye.

It's now Tuesday afternoon.  I called the treatment facility at 10am.  The front desk person could not give me any information because I didn't have a 4 digit code.  How on earth would I have a code, when no one is calling me to tell me anything.  I left my name and number for the Nurses Desk to call me.  So I wait.  

This is hard, and it hurts.  I am worried, I know he is in a good place to begin to get the help he so desperately needs.  I just want to know what the treatment plan is, will he be staying past the initial 72 hours? Are they putting together a team to cover all of his bases? Is there going to be medication prescribed? I want them to make sure he is eating.  Eating heals the brain, what if they don't cover that? 

I am trying to trust that this is the beginning of healing.